Again, here in this paragraph, your moment-to-moment transitions are fantastic; the discussion portions of your paragraphs are rich in imagery and ideas. I think you need to frame each paragraph with bolder issue statements and conclude them with more explicit resolutions/transitions.

Narratival technique strong: the story you tell involves the reader, appeals to other definition arguments on the wiki (but does not create links..why not?), and creates a focused example of the the re-definition of courage you seek to articulate.

unit 2 final draft deeroo