Sara Jane's Evaluation:

I would give this narrative an "A" because the topic is clearly defined and he doesn't swerve off topic. What is really good about this narrative is that in the first paragraph he draws the audience in the suspense. He starts you off with little information so that the reader whats to keep reading to find out what the conclusion is going to be. The narrative gives a great picture of what is going on. Its like you are there as you are reading it. Each paragraph is controlled by a topic sentence and are placed in the right order so that the narrative flows well. The only thing I don't see in this narrative is the use of outside information. The narrative blends well as he blends in different images and sounds of the knights and the environment. Also the narrative includes interesting vocabulary along with subordination. The transition from paragraph to paragraph was well done. He didn't lose me as he jumped from paragraph to paragraph. Everything flows nicely together. This narrative was well written!

Erex's Evaluation!