The first sentence draws the reader to his story. What's the incident? And then he answers that question immediately, starting with the time, place, and what had happened previously. Because of this structure, the topic was well defined. The story starts out pleasant and then he cleverly hints and foreshadows that something bad is getting ready to happen. The story ended abruptly but it did give a closure. There were some short choppy sentences that could have been blended but overall it flowed pretty good.

I give Dontae's Narrative a B!